"What is she not seeing?"
We sometimes may wonder when trying to help our child through a problem. Elder Bednar taught : "What doctrine or principle if understand would change her attitude or behavior?"
Boyd K. Packer said "True doctrine or principles "understood" changes attitudes and behaviors quicker than a study of behavior." So what true doctrine do they need, and how can I help them to better understand it? Understanding is a spiritual gift, something that happens when our great is open and teachable.
Doctrines answer the question WHY. Why are we here? What is our purpose? Our mission? When we obtain a vision of why we are here and what God wants from us, it inspires us to do good and to be good.
It is not enough that we are saved. It is my belief that when we get the pearly gates, if we are alone, we will be asked where is the rest of your family?
It is our mission in life to help lead our family members to Christ. To be Saviors on Mount Zion.
But the fiery darts of the adversary can take us off course and we become blind.
If we hearken unto the word of God we will not perish, nor will the fiery darts overpower us unto blindness. We will not be destroyed. (1 Nephi 15: 24)
In addition to the word of God (Scriptures, Conference Talks, and Personal Revelation/Testimony) the shield of faith can quench those darts. (Ephesians 6:16)
Satan through the ages has tempted many people, some well documented temptations are the examples of Moses and Jesus Christ. They both had to cast him out. And Moses had to cast him out three times before he finally left! We need to know what the strategy and battle plan of the adversary is. Howard W. Hunter went more into depth on these in his October 1976 talk titled "Temptations of Christ."
Christ was taken by an angel (See the JST version of Matthew 4) into the wilderness after fasting for 40 days and 40 nights. His first temptation was that of appetite, when he was weak and very hungry, and to eat in a spectacular miraculous way without waiting or postponing.
The second temptation the spirit had taken Jesus up to a pinnacle of the temple. Satan tempted him to throw himself down into a large group of people, and have God and angels save him. This was have been an example of great public recognition and fame throughout the land.
The third temptation Jesus was taken by the spirit to a high mountain. He was promised kingdoms and glory. "It is the proposition that everyone has a price, that material things finally matter most, that ultimately you can buy anything in this world for money."
Each time Jesus was tempted he quoted a scripture.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1976/10/the-temptations-of-christ?lang=eng
Is it vain to care what other people think us?
According to the 1828 dictionary (the dictionary before the meanings became changed or altered and corrupted to have new meanings) It is emptiness, want of substance to satisfy desire, untruth, empty pleasure, vain pursuit, arrogance, unsubstantial enjoyment, inflation of the mind on upon slight grounds.
http://webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary/vanity
We now believe it only means: "excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements, the quality of being worthless or futile, or a dressing table." Vanity is more than just being concerned with our appearance. In the scriptures it says the people were neat and comely but they did not have costly apparel.
In Proverbs 29:18 "Where there is no vision the people perish."
Elder Ballard in his April 2017 General Conference address Return and Receive said:
"Over the years, I have observed that those who accomplish the most in this world are those with a vision for their lives, with goals to keep them focused on their vision and tactical plans for how to achieve them. Knowing where you are going and how you expect to get there can bring meaning, purpose, and accomplishment to life.
Some have difficulty differentiating between a goal and a plan until they learn that a goal is a destination or an end, while a plan is the route by which you get there. For example, we can have a goal to drive to a certain unfamiliar location, and as some of you dear sisters know, we men often think we know how to get there—often resulting in our saying, “I know it must be just around the next corner.” My wife must be smiling. The goal was clear, but there wasn’t a good plan in place to reach the destination.
Goal setting is essentially beginning with the end in mind. And planning is devising a way to get to that end."
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/return-and-receive?lang=eng
"In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior revealed one of the greatest insights to this human tendency, and gave what is sometimes called the Change-First Principle. He said:
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s [or spouse’s] eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
“Or how wilt thou say to thy brother [or spouse], Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
“Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s [or spouse’s] eye.” (Matt. 7:3–5.)
Jesus was a carpenter. For him, a beam was a large piece of wood and a mote was a small speck of sawdust. In metaphor, he was asking his disciples (including husbands and wives) why they were so skilled in perceiving the small inadequacies in others and yet were oblivious or nearly blinded to their own larger imperfections. To overcome this common human weakness, Jesus admonished them to change first—to “cast out” or overcome their own imperfections—and then they would be less inclined to try to change someone else’s smaller inadequacies."
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1992/09/to-build-a-better-marriage?lang=eng
We have been taught to first pull the beam out of our own eye before we try to cast the mote out of our neighbors eye. It is must easier to see other peoples faults, than to see our own.
Okay so we all have weaknesses. And it is often to see other peoples before we can see our own. But we are just practicing and learning. The Lord will help us. In fact, he gave us these weaknesses for our own benefit!
"According to His celestial chemistry, the Lord gives us weakness to facilitate our becoming strong in the only way that matters in time and eternity—through Him. He says: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/12/joseph-smith-strength-out-of-weakness?lang=eng
God wants us to be humble, faithful, and strong. We need humility to obtain an awareness and recognize our faults. We need to be faithful and rely on his changing power. Then he can make weak things become strong.
We need to know who our allegiance is to. We were given agency. That means we can be agents of good/God or agents for evil. If we choose an allegiance to God then we need to follow his plan and path for us.
God is a creator. God created everything spiritually before it was created physically. We too must spiritually plan out what we want our family relationships to look like.
"A key to happiness lies in understanding what destinations truly matter—and then spending our time, effort, and attention on the things that constitute a sure way to arrive there." (Return and Receive - M. Russell Ballard)
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/return-and-receive?lang=eng
Just as testimonies come in the bearing, I believe that strong bonded families come with that is our focus. When we change the way we speak about our family. When we revere and honor our spouse and children, they hear this and they become it. What we focus on expands.
"The gift of foresight is understanding a child's true identity."
"[We as parents can be] granted the extraordinary gift of a glimpse into eternity and of beholding the true identity and premortal stature of their children. Would that not forever change the way [we] saw and treated [our] children? I like this variation of a quote attributed to Goethe: “The way you see [a child] is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is [who] they [will] become.”10 To remember a child’s true identity is a gift of foresight that divinely inspires the vision of a righteous judge."
(The Righteous Judge - Lynn G Robbins)
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/10/the-righteous-judge?lang=eng
Christ can give us spiritual eyes to see. As we gain a vision of what we want our families to look like, we gain sight. We can pray and ask God what is his desire for our family?
What we focus on expands! Let us be like our Father in Heaven and spiritual create a roadmap for our families. An ideal picture that that reminds and inspires us to be better each day.
It is not enough that we are saved. It is my belief that when we get the pearly gates, if we are alone, we will be asked where is the rest of your family?
It is our mission in life to help lead our family members to Christ. To be Saviors on Mount Zion.
But the fiery darts of the adversary can take us off course and we become blind.
If we hearken unto the word of God we will not perish, nor will the fiery darts overpower us unto blindness. We will not be destroyed. (1 Nephi 15: 24)
In addition to the word of God (Scriptures, Conference Talks, and Personal Revelation/Testimony) the shield of faith can quench those darts. (Ephesians 6:16)
Satan through the ages has tempted many people, some well documented temptations are the examples of Moses and Jesus Christ. They both had to cast him out. And Moses had to cast him out three times before he finally left! We need to know what the strategy and battle plan of the adversary is. Howard W. Hunter went more into depth on these in his October 1976 talk titled "Temptations of Christ."
Christ was taken by an angel (See the JST version of Matthew 4) into the wilderness after fasting for 40 days and 40 nights. His first temptation was that of appetite, when he was weak and very hungry, and to eat in a spectacular miraculous way without waiting or postponing.
The second temptation the spirit had taken Jesus up to a pinnacle of the temple. Satan tempted him to throw himself down into a large group of people, and have God and angels save him. This was have been an example of great public recognition and fame throughout the land.
The third temptation Jesus was taken by the spirit to a high mountain. He was promised kingdoms and glory. "It is the proposition that everyone has a price, that material things finally matter most, that ultimately you can buy anything in this world for money."
Each time Jesus was tempted he quoted a scripture.
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1976/10/the-temptations-of-christ?lang=eng
Is it vain to care what other people think us?
What is vanity?
According to the 1828 dictionary (the dictionary before the meanings became changed or altered and corrupted to have new meanings) It is emptiness, want of substance to satisfy desire, untruth, empty pleasure, vain pursuit, arrogance, unsubstantial enjoyment, inflation of the mind on upon slight grounds.
http://webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary/vanity
We now believe it only means: "excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements, the quality of being worthless or futile, or a dressing table." Vanity is more than just being concerned with our appearance. In the scriptures it says the people were neat and comely but they did not have costly apparel.
Why was the apparel so costly?
Was it the price of the item, the quantity of money spent?
Or was it because of the emptiness that it can fill our soul with when he seek the wrong allegiance?
Do we care more about what the world thinks about us than God and our family?
Who is our allegiance to?
In Proverbs 29:18 "Where there is no vision the people perish."
So when people get all excited and make vision boards is this something that God wants us to do?
What about family visions?
Are these just another trend?
Elder Ballard in his April 2017 General Conference address Return and Receive said:
"Over the years, I have observed that those who accomplish the most in this world are those with a vision for their lives, with goals to keep them focused on their vision and tactical plans for how to achieve them. Knowing where you are going and how you expect to get there can bring meaning, purpose, and accomplishment to life.
Some have difficulty differentiating between a goal and a plan until they learn that a goal is a destination or an end, while a plan is the route by which you get there. For example, we can have a goal to drive to a certain unfamiliar location, and as some of you dear sisters know, we men often think we know how to get there—often resulting in our saying, “I know it must be just around the next corner.” My wife must be smiling. The goal was clear, but there wasn’t a good plan in place to reach the destination.
Goal setting is essentially beginning with the end in mind. And planning is devising a way to get to that end."
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/return-and-receive?lang=eng
What we focus on expands! Let me repeat, What we focus on expands or grows.
Do we sometimes focus on the weakness of others or ourselves?
Does that make our weakness get bigger and more pronounced?
Is this what we want?
"In the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior revealed one of the greatest insights to this human tendency, and gave what is sometimes called the Change-First Principle. He said:
“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s [or spouse’s] eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
“Or how wilt thou say to thy brother [or spouse], Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
“Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s [or spouse’s] eye.” (Matt. 7:3–5.)
Jesus was a carpenter. For him, a beam was a large piece of wood and a mote was a small speck of sawdust. In metaphor, he was asking his disciples (including husbands and wives) why they were so skilled in perceiving the small inadequacies in others and yet were oblivious or nearly blinded to their own larger imperfections. To overcome this common human weakness, Jesus admonished them to change first—to “cast out” or overcome their own imperfections—and then they would be less inclined to try to change someone else’s smaller inadequacies."
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1992/09/to-build-a-better-marriage?lang=eng
We have been taught to first pull the beam out of our own eye before we try to cast the mote out of our neighbors eye. It is must easier to see other peoples faults, than to see our own.
Okay so we all have weaknesses. And it is often to see other peoples before we can see our own. But we are just practicing and learning. The Lord will help us. In fact, he gave us these weaknesses for our own benefit!
Why are we given weaknesses?
"According to His celestial chemistry, the Lord gives us weakness to facilitate our becoming strong in the only way that matters in time and eternity—through Him. He says: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/12/joseph-smith-strength-out-of-weakness?lang=eng
God wants us to be humble, faithful, and strong. We need humility to obtain an awareness and recognize our faults. We need to be faithful and rely on his changing power. Then he can make weak things become strong.
We need to know who our allegiance is to. We were given agency. That means we can be agents of good/God or agents for evil. If we choose an allegiance to God then we need to follow his plan and path for us.
We need to know who we are following and what is his plan for us?
What is our individual mission?
Why were we put in families?
We were we put in a certain birth order?
What are we supposed to learn from this?
And how are we supposed to help our family?
God is a creator. God created everything spiritually before it was created physically. We too must spiritually plan out what we want our family relationships to look like.
"A key to happiness lies in understanding what destinations truly matter—and then spending our time, effort, and attention on the things that constitute a sure way to arrive there." (Return and Receive - M. Russell Ballard)
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/return-and-receive?lang=eng
Just as testimonies come in the bearing, I believe that strong bonded families come with that is our focus. When we change the way we speak about our family. When we revere and honor our spouse and children, they hear this and they become it. What we focus on expands.
"The gift of foresight is understanding a child's true identity."
"[We as parents can be] granted the extraordinary gift of a glimpse into eternity and of beholding the true identity and premortal stature of their children. Would that not forever change the way [we] saw and treated [our] children? I like this variation of a quote attributed to Goethe: “The way you see [a child] is the way you treat them, and the way you treat them is [who] they [will] become.”10 To remember a child’s true identity is a gift of foresight that divinely inspires the vision of a righteous judge."
(The Righteous Judge - Lynn G Robbins)
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/10/the-righteous-judge?lang=eng
What fiery darts are we not seeing?
What are we blinded to?
Christ can give us spiritual eyes to see. As we gain a vision of what we want our families to look like, we gain sight. We can pray and ask God what is his desire for our family?
What should our relationships should look like?
What goals should we have?
What we focus on expands! Let us be like our Father in Heaven and spiritual create a roadmap for our families. An ideal picture that that reminds and inspires us to be better each day.
"To assist us, His Church provides patriarchal blessings to give each recipient a vision for his or her future as well as a connection with the past, even a declaration of lineage back to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." - M. Russell Nelson (Covenants, Ensign April 2011)
May we have foresight and become righteous judges who understand our true identity, the identity of our children, and the identity of our families is my prayer.
May we have foresight and become righteous judges who understand our true identity, the identity of our children, and the identity of our families is my prayer.
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